OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
