I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
