"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
