You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
