Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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