oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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