i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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