1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
