So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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