we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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