It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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