Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
