i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
