just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
