it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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