hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
