Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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