I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
