How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize