i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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