dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
