I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
