I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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