Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
