I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
