Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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