If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
