My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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