I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
