hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
