thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
