i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
