can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My ass is underappreciated
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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