they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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