Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
