Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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