My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
