He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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