you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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