Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
