I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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