I'm really into asian looking animals
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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