kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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