actually, I'm a sock model
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
