I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
