Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
