I want to have your abortion
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
