I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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