well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
