so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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