I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
