The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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