party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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