the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
