Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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