dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize