jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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