why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Farmville is her only friend.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
