Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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