drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
