Your tits are I can't wait for
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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