dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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