If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have feelings that need drinking.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
