I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
